Little blurb

I haven't said much of anything lately. But I've been thinking a lot, none stop in fact. Its strange to have my mind moved from its haitsu like state to constant use. The more I think the worse my mood becomes, I can't even explain it. Its like having a dark cloud over you, that gets darker with every passing moment. All I've been able to do lately is read, sleep, eat and do my school work. Nothing else seems to hold any interest for me. I don't know if that makes me sad. Last night I drank at my aunt's house. I must of had at least eight glasses of wine, not to mention some vodka. When I started drinking everything held a strange allure, I was with family at the time. But when my mom left I admitted how I felt to my aunt.
I let out things I had been holding in from even ten years ago. I didn't want to tell anyone any of them, but when I drink I feel insecure and tend to run my mouth. For the past couple months I have watched my family do nothing but yell and tear each other down with out even a seconds thought, and I've been my mother's diary. But - Who does the diary talk to? I had no one to speak to and then having that wine made me think some, although I don't particularly remember what I had been thinking.